Thursday, February 18, 2010

Room to breathe.


75. Eat at a Thai Place.
Last night I ate at Cozy Yum Yum for a birthday dinner. I ate Masaman -- I ordered it cause it had avocado in it.yum.

Let me tell you what happened this morning. I thought I killed my computer. For real. IT FREAKED OUT. and opened everything i'd ever downloaded. I just didn't even know what to do. so i pulled my hood up... and stared. waiting for it to stop. it was scary.
I get bored walking in straight lines. I like when roads turn. the No Smoking sign posted by the door in my classroom seems obsolete. This is how i think about rules & laws.. they only are stated because it was a problem at some point in time. it's funny to think of the campus where everyone just came in class smoking... that's so much something you don't do now.
I think there are a lot of things that I've never done... that I want to try. But have never had the opportunity... or there are things that i'd only ever do if someone invited me to try it with them. Then I might would like it a lot. I don't have it all figured out. I believe mankind will always disappoint me. I believe love can be unconditional but most people choose for it to be conditional. I'm frustrated. I end up indifferent a lot.. about a lot of things. Jaded even. I fall asleep at night with the blanket over my head.

Remember how I used to never cry? Simple things make me cry. I mean overwhelmed? cry. Sad? waterworks. Angry? set jaws & crying. Happy? smile. or straight face... which is mistaken for upset. Admiring? small tears. Frustrated? tears. Touched by Beauty? tears. Knowing things won't be the same? tears Hurt? tears. .... No reason? tears. Yesterday I went on a walk to take pictures with a friend... i took a picture of this silly but very comfortable, quaint looking house I teared up. She didn't notice.

I hope I can get off of work early today.


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