Friday, May 28, 2010

Ugly truth sort of blog.

Is it a bad thing that I am completely unaffected by the coming of going of friends? I mean there are a couple that remain... I recognize that at a time the friendship served a purpose for me. I feel weird when people either have the same friends for their entire lives. I feel weird when I don't mourn friendships. I don't miss people. I've really struggled with this this year...
Here's what I come to. I don't usually have friends that are for my whole life... because I am not the same as I was a year ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago etc... I change. I see it as, when I change it's not through time... my changes always seem to come more abruptly. Friends are people that you get something from and they get something from you. If I'm abruptly changing I need different things... Not that it makes the friendship bad... just not what I need at the time.
Now to the part that has always bothered me.... There are very few times that I've actually missed people... I've always felt a bit cold hearted for that. Like leaving for 5 weeks when I was 9 to go to camp..... I didn't miss my parents one bit. (sorry if you're reading... its true)... As I get older, there've been a few people that have invaded this norm. Maybe I put up a guard that keeps me from getting too attached.
"Remembering Our Promises" is what is written on my wrist this week. This week has been about me remembering what i've been promised in life. What I believe the Lord has for me. Things to expect.
Looking forward to:
*Maggie comes back on sunday :)
*Scotland fundraising next weekend
*another month in Athens with the One that called me here, with less people.

Anyway, later days.

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