I see two differences in love these differences shape the relationship. The first is love that is based on investment. If you have a lot of time and money put into the investment, you love it more. Not even on a performance basis. Just your based on your own contributions to the investment. The more you invest in it, the more you love it. This is a selfish kind of love. A relationship shaped in this love does not have an interest in anything that is not being immediately impacted by their investment. This relationship is dependent. Dependent on the investment. The nature of the relationship is solely on the basis of personal interest. If the dependency on investment is removed there is no basis for a relationship. If dependency on investment is removed the relationship fails.
the second is love that is based on Who they are. The second love is love that comes from the place of knowing the other person in the relationship. The second love says I know you, and I love you for who you are. Other things can come out of that love, like support, investments of time and money, serving the other. But it's foundations are on Knowing. Knowing only comes through being in the presence of the person. It only comes from observation of the person. This love is self-less. This love lasts further than the support and investments. If the support and investments fail in a relationship based on this kind of love, if all is lost, gain still comes from knowing the person. From knowing who they are and saying that all things involved had no impact on my love for you, love remains.
I wrote this with reflection on myself. from a place of reflection of my life and from what's been troubling my thoughts. But it's been a necessary understanding for me to come to about the Lord. To realize that although I believe he has invested in me His love has nothing to do with those investments. If i wrecked and ruined and completely wasted all of those things, His love remains. Because His love is based on who I am. He knows me and loves me. I've been learning to love him in return with the same kind of love. To love Him for who he is, not on how he responds to me. Not based on the blessings from Him. But to see Him, be in His presence, to observe Him and to simply love.