Thursday, January 7, 2010

brew, stir, get twisted, talk to yourself, then renounce.

Things to look forward to:
January's edition of.... 101 things in 1001 days.
School Starts tomorrow. - i have africa classes tomorrow. yeah.
i have a new roommate.
it's cold.

oh a nugget for you: So over the summer (not just then...) Kelley told us sometimes the importance of declaring things over yourself daily. kelley i'm sorry! but i thought this was stupid then. you know... learned it then... use it now. :)
When you're left alone with your thoughts for too long (especially when you are comfortable with them).... things brew. and stir. and get twisted. and lies seep in. and it's hard to distinguish between lies and truth. What's actually happening and what's just you over analyzing and creating even more problems than there are.
Over break I did this. completely. At one point I had even convinced myself that I don't have anyone that cares. That i'm incapable of having a family in the future. That I am an accident. That I don't have any examples of what familial love is like.
OKAY... REALLY? REALLLY? all of that came out of my mouth... yes i did start this topic with "when left alone" and all of that came out of my mouth. meaning .... i talked to myself. right. I said that. FOR REAL. No. No. Nooooooooo.
A) I have lots and lots of people that care.
B) Not only am i capable of having a family in the future. I am called to have a family in the future.
C) I'm not an accident. LIE.
D) I've been cared for by the Father to have examples. Throughout my life I was raised by a village. I've ALWAYS had other examples of a family's love. Even now more specifically some families that are incredible. Thank you for loving me well families. I speak of you often. Think of you more than often. and come to see you less often than I'd like.
E) I may be one of the strangest birds you know..... but I have never been the Talks to myself strange bird. No ma'am. So If i start talking to myself... you KNOW it's been a little while. (talking to a group of people that does not listen to you.... does not count as talking to myself.... just to clarify :)

My blog is called freedom for the thought.... but maybe it should not go unchecked for such a long amount of time.

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